Former Newcastle United interim manager and self-proclaimed “best manager in the Premier League” John Carver has been given an actual management job. Seeing as his disastrous performances in the Newcastle dugout ensured no one in this country would touch him with a barge pole, Carver has rocked up as manager of Cypriot side AC Omonoia. Omonoia finished fourth in the fierce Cypriot league last season, one which is dominated by city rivals APOEL, who were formerly managed by Toon legend and bona fide nutcase Temuri Ketsbaia. “My code name of Jose Carvinho worked!” Picture credit: Chronicle If you’re wondering where the link comes from that led to Carver getting the job, it’s probably something to do with the fact that former Newcastle defender Nikos Dabizas is a sporting director at Omonoia. We can only assume Carver’s meticulous approach to setting out cones on the training field convinced Dabizas that he can turn the second best side in Nicosia into title challengers. Good luck, John, but we expect to see you back in the job centre by Christmas.