In arguably the least surprising news of the month, Moussa Sissoko has fluttered his eyelashes at another club and practically confirmed he wants to leave Newcastle United this summer.

Quite frankly, no one cares that the lazy Frenchman wants to pack his bags, after growing tired of his lackadaisical style over the last few seasons.

A player who possesses the talent to do big things in the Premier League but simply can’t be arsed, Sissoko has given an interview to French TV all but confirming he wants to join Arsenal.

Sissoko said:

It is very flattering. Arsenal is one of the best European teams. To be watched by that sort of club, that proves that you are a quality player. It is good to know. I hope that I will have the chance, soon, to play for this club or for a similar club…

It is a very big European club. I think that very few people would refuse to play for this club.

Everyone knows, I often said it when I was young, Arsenal is the club of my heart, because there were quite a few French players there like Thierry Henry, Robert Pirès, Sylvain Wiltord, Patrick Vieira who was my idol.

The beautiful Arsenal. We will see. I cannot tell you if I am going to go to Arsenal. For the moment, I am focused on the French national team and the Euros.

I have advisors who are dealing with all of that and I hope that things will go well with as little difficulty as possible for me to find another club.

Weirdly enough, the only place Arsenal have been watching Sissoko is inside the Frenchman’s head, so any move seems some distance away – especially with Arsenal signing Granit Xhaka recently.

It’s safe to say no Newcastle fans care that Sissoko wants to leave, as these tweets prove:

If someone wants to set up a fund for Moussa’s airplane ticket, we’d be more than happy to chip in.